Fic: Let's Be Alone Together

Title: Let's Be Alone Together
Author: huldrejenta
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters & Pairings: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Remus/Sirius
Rating & Warnings: PG-13, for implying that sex does exist and that Remus and Sirius are having it
Word Count: 1,500
Summary: Sirius was the kind of person Remus could read like an open book, and the story he read there was beautiful. But finding the true meaning of it, wasn't always easy. (Or: Transitions.)
Non-Magical AU.
Prompt: This photo:
Notes: This was written as a pinch hit for Team Muggle at the 2014 rs_games. When I wrote this, I had just been reading a few authors who have a very direct, almost naivistic style, and this story is heavily influenced by that. (Yes, even more so than usual ;))
Thank you so much to brighty18, who, in addition to being one of the wonderfully friendly, organized and enthusiastic mods at rs_games, also found the time to beta-read this fic ♥

He was supposed to be the smart one, smart enough to realise this was pure madness. Apparently he was stupid enough to want it anyway. It remained to be seen whether he was brave enough to jump off for real.

The day was full of sunlight and promise, his clothes were light, and his smile was glowing. Remus shook his head. Glowing! Such words he'd started using. He grabbed his jacket and walked outside, laughing to himself.

Today he chose a different path than his usual one. He felt like grabbing a coffee, and he sat down on a stool inside the coffee shop, picking up his notebook while blowing into the hot mug.

Someone who might've been James ran by on the pavement outside, and Remus' eyes fell onto one of his first entries in the notebook.
James says that Sirius is the kind of person who'll tickle a sleeping dragon, just to see what happens.

"Is that why he's with me?" Remus had asked. Earlier that day, Sirius had put his hand over Remus' for the first time, and if he'd done it to check what would happen when rich, handsome, confident guys flirted with not so rich, not so handsome and not so confident ones, Remus didn't know how he could move on. But James had looked at him and smiled. "You don't know Sirius very well, do you?" he said, and Remus wanted to say, no, how could he? They'd just started seeing each other, in secret, but he knew enough to be freaked out, terrified and utterly smitten. He didn't say any of those things. James had meant something else, of that he was quite certain. He just didn't know what it was.

He flipped through his notebook again.

Sirius is the kind of person you can read like an open book he'd written a few weeks ago. The problem is, even though I can read the words in the book, I'm not certain I understand what they mean. I do know the words are beautiful. I can only hope the story they create is the same.

The coffee tasted unusually good today, but a quick look at his watch told him he didn't have time for another. He put his notebook back into the pocket and headed for the grove by the outskirts of the town. Soft sunlight was tilting in between the trunks, and he sat down by the tiny meadow where they used to meet. It had been a warm and dry summer, a fact the two of them were most grateful for. The late September sun still gave them enough warmth to keep meeting this way. For now.

"Okay," Remus said to himself while he waited, "let me tell you something." He'd always been fond of thinking out loud, and it was probably a good idea to get it over with while he was still alone. "If Sirius doesn't come today, it's simply because he can't get away from something or another, or his parents have taken his mobile and locked him up again. It's not because he's decided to actually listen to them. It's not because he's moving on."

And then Sirius came, running, his hair damp from sweat and his smile sending rays of warmth into the pit of Remus' stomach. Sirius always arrived running. Sometimes he was light and sometimes he was dark, depending on how the shadows and the sunlight fell upon him. He wore designer jeans and a white button up shirt, and his mouth was red, sinful and sweet as an autumn apple having just been picked.

"I'm glad you're here," said Sirius, finding a place to sit down next to Remus.

"Of course I'm here," said Remus. "I'm always here."

"Have you missed me?" Sirius looked up at him.


"I've missed you too. I ran all the way here, as soon as I could get away." His eyes smiled before he closed them. "Will you kiss me?" he said, and Remus' mouth leaned in before Sirius was finished talking.

Sirius lay down onto the ground. Remus took off his jacket and gave it to him, watching as Sirius put it underneath himself. "Come lay beside me." Sirius' voice was low, his hands were restless before finding a place on the grass, and he bit his lips as Remus lay down.

"Don't you ever get tired of looking at me?" There was no mockery in Sirius' question, at least none that Remus could find. Still, perhaps he ought to look at something else. Nothing else could capture his attention, though, so he laughed instead. "No, I suppose I don't."

"What do you see?"

Good question. A few weeks back, Remus would say that he saw beauty, that he saw wealth. An immaculate picture of scary flawlessness. Now he wasn't so certain; the picture was still there, but something had changed. Glimpses of what hid behind it had begun to flow by.

"I don't know," he said.

Sirius blinked. "It's just me, Remus. I'm just a regular guy."

"I've never unbuttoned this shirt before," Remus said instead of replying.

"I haven't used it in a while. I felt like dressing up today. It's been so long since I saw you."

"Three days isn't a long time." Remus smiled, and took care not to mention that he'd been thinking the exact same thing. He opened Sirius' shirt, one button at the time, before taking it all the way off. The beauty that was Sirius' body always took him by surprise, even though he'd seen it a lot of times now. "I could watch you all day."

"You'd get bored."

"Never. I could watch your nose and your chin. Your perfect shoulders and your ridiculously fantastic legs. I could spend hours, days, doing that, and I still wouldn't solve the mystery that is you."

"There's no mystery, Remus. I'm just me."

Remus kissed him again and unzipped his jeans. "Our clothes get dirty."

"Better take them off, then."

"That's one of your better ideas, Sirius, I have to say."

Remus let his hand glide over Sirius' stomach and down between his legs. Sirius helped taking off Remus' trousers and showed him the way. It was warm and wonderful.

"This is the best day ever," said Remus.

"You always say that."

"Every day with you is."

Sirius smiled.

"I'm cold," he said afterwards, and Remus slipped slowly out of him. He turned over, lay on his back and watched the leaves on the trees above them. They weren't all green anymore, and an autumn chill had crept up on them.

"What are we going to do when winter comes?" Remus regretted the words the moment they'd left his mouth.

"Don't worry about that now," said Sirius, searching for his pants and his shirt. "It's not winter today, is it?"

No, it wasn't, and who'd said anything about the two of them still being together when winter came?

"Let me help you with those," he said and started buttoning up Sirius' shirt.

The crisp air urged them to keep getting dressed. They sat up, brushed off their clothes and looked at each other. Sirius leaned his head on Remus' shoulder, and they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"What do you see, then?"

Remus jumped by the sound of Sirius' voice. "See? When?"

"When you're watching me."

Oh. "I told you. I don't know." Which was at least partially true.

"Do you want to know what I see when I'm watching you?" Remus supposed he did. "I don't know either, Remus. And I can't wait to find out."

Remus lowered his head and hid his smile. An earthworm crawled its way across a root and disappeared beneath a leaf from last year's winter.

"You're so overwhelming that it's hard to see what lies hidden," Remus said.

"Do you think you ever will?" Sirius twisted a black curl around his finger and pushed it behind his ear.

"Yes. I'm getting closer." And he did.

"Good. None of us really know each other, do we? Behind the mask we're always alone. But we can keep getting closer. Be alone together."

They hauled themselves up from the ground and started walking back. "We'll work something out when winter comes." Sirius' hand found his. "Don't worry."

"I'm not worried."

"Oh, I think you are, Remus."

"You're right. I am. But it's okay."

They reached the end of the grove. Without having to say it, their hands let go of each other the moment they stepped beyond the last tree. But this time Sirius didn't continue alone like he always did. He turned to look at Remus. "Are you ready?"

Remus didn't know what he was supposed to be ready for. He nodded anyway, and they started walking.

"I'm walking you home." Sirius' voice was thin, but his steps were certain.

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Yes. I'd much rather be alone with you than completely alone with them. I want to walk you all the way home - jump into the water with you, without checking if it's warm or cold first."

They continued down the street, side by side. A smile found its way to Remus' face, and before he realised what he was doing, he started humming. He zipped up his jacket against the early evening breeze. Sirius' arm against his was solid and warm.

"Okay," he said. "I'd like that." And together they kept on walking.
This is so bittersweet -- mostly sweet, but with a few worries and doubts mixed in. I feel like this really captures the beginning of a relationship, when you're intoxicated but afraid to assume too much, all at the same time. I wanted to hug Sirius at the end, for taking a new step -- maybe now Remus will start seeing those things that James meant about knowing Sirius.
I think bittersweet is a good way to describe it :) My idea was to take a look at the point when a relationship begins to change and you start seing the other person for real as opposed to your image of who the other person is, together with the change of the season. I like giving these characters moments where their worries are quite managable ;)

Edited at 2014-11-21 10:54 pm (UTC)